No less days

This post is going to be a little different.  I usually write about milestones or document our memories and share lots of pictures.  This one isn't so journalistic, but more like a journal entry.  Please bear with me … I promise to post more super cute pics soon!

It's been an emotional week.  I think I've cried, or at least teared up, each day for various reasons … but always from being overwhelmed. 

• I'm sad that Tim is gone four days out of the week, especially after getting to spend 12 wonderfully normal days as a family last week, I'm feeling his absence more strongly now and missing the everyday oneness of our marriage.  I am so blessed to have him for my husband and I love watching him in action as Weston's daddy.  And I'm so grateful for the way he provides for us.
• I'm also missing my family!  Counting down the days to see the Texarkana clan next week!
• I'm continually reminded that I have so much to learn about being a mommy. The loving part is so natural, so easy, so fun, but the providing part … phew!  Its so easy to feel inadequate. 
• He just got his second tooth yesterday so we are still in the thick of teething and trying to keep him comfortable is a challenge and often leaves me feeling helpless. We are working with a combo of teething tablets (these are money!), Orajel and teething toys. Poor baby! 
• We also started rice cereal yesterday.  He did great and is eager to figure it out, but I was a bit naive to how much this would change things.  I've had to do a crash course in all things feeding baby. So many opinions and methods! Thank goodness for my pediatrician to help clarify.
• We are still working on our sleeping.  He is getting the hang of falling asleep, but the staying asleep is another story.  I am pretty sure its the teething … or maybe its the hunger … sometimes I'm pretty sure I know nothing ;) ha! 
• And scheduling, well, I'd call ours more of a morphing pattern ;) The brain fog, natural rebellion against structure and overwhelming opinions on the topic don't help. I am praying about this one and seeking the counsel of friends who have gone before me.  I think I might be done with books ;)
• And I'm having to redefine my definition of productivity.  I often start the week with a seemingly do-able to-do list only to find more than half of it remaining by the end of the week.  And I feel like I've been going non-stop. I think what I should start doing is making a list of all the things that I do accomplish each day. And learn how to extend myself some (of His amazing) grace.  
• I'm also realizing that I can't always keep my commitments.  This is a hard one for me … I want to be able to do all things to the best that I can … but sometimes the best that I can physically do doesn't meet my own standard. I'm having to adjust to the fact that my commitments have to be prioritized based on importance … and that means that sometimes I can't come through for someone like I would like to.  My life has changed and that transition is a learning process.  Again, I need to learn how to accept grace and ask for help when I need it.

Now, I realize that all of that was pretty negative or heavy.  This is hard for me to write because I hate to sound weak.  And I'm not complaining about being a mommy (and am fearful that's what it sounds like) … its the best thing that's ever happened to me … but being able to acknowledge that its challenging and stretching is a healthy thing for me to do.

And the real reason I am writing this post is because of my tears tonight.

I was rocking Weston to put him to sleep and I was singing to him as I usually do.  (To my shock, my singing is one of the things that almost always calms him down … my extensive mental jukebox is serving me very well right now!) I started out singing the same song, Jesus Loves Me, every nap/night as part of our going to bed routine, but have realized that I need to introduce a new song every couple weeks or he gets bored and it no longer helps calm him down.  We've since added Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and You Are My Sunshine … classics.

Tonight I added Amazing Grace.  I've heard it so many times and its so well-known that I have always been a little hesitant to consider it a favorite (yes, sadly this is a form of pride in my life, needing to be unique).  Anyway, as I was singing it to Weston tonight, and focusing on trying to get the words in the right verses, I almost didn't realize that he had completely relaxed and was just gazing at me. Normally when I sing a new song, he relaxes, snuggles up and his eyelids start dropping. 

But he was just gazing at me.  When our eyes met, he broke into the sweetest smile as I was singing one of my favorite lines … "we've no less days to sing God's praise than when we've first begun". And there came the tears.  Tears of pure joy!  As I kept singing to this sweet precious boy who was just drinking in these amazing, true words, I was just overcome with the moment.  He continued to hold my gaze and sweetly smile for several minutes. I got the privilege to speak these sweet truths to my son. "How precious did that Grace appear, the hour I first believed?" Precious indeed.  How often I forget.

Such perspective. Such sweetness.  Such a reminder that these days are so precious and are going by far too fast.  Tonight my tears were also from being overwhelmed … but not with stress … with joy.  I am praying that I can keep this perspective, God's perspective, each day as I trust Him to sustain me in these challenges and praise Him for the blessings … for they are many!

2 Corinthians 12:9 - My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. (NIV)

Look who's sittin'

We just got home from spending a week with Tim in Tallahassee (more on that fun later) … but look what Weston learned how to do while we were there!  YAY such a big boy!

3 months old - February 25

We did a little photo shoot to document his 3 month birthday.  At 3 months he was totally, completely, absolutely into chewing on his hands … any chance he got!  He was becoming more and more generous with his smiles and had begun to actually laugh sometimes … cutest sound EVER!  Such a sweet little cutie pie.  And a snuggle bug.  Oh how I love just holding and cuddling my little sugar bean.  Some of my favorite moments of my entire life have been just holding and rocking this precious little miracle … sometimes I think I could just sit there all day.  I cannot even describe how much I LOVE being his mommy :o) Its definitely super hard sometimes too, but worth every second. Luckiest girl EVER!

Oh, and have I mentioned how wiggly he was/is?  A busy boy for SURE!  He LOVES to stand up and be big! Of course, he isn't steady yet, so we call his moves the Weston Wiggle.  Its catching on like wildfire with other babies around town ;)  Below is a very funny YouTube video montage of some commercials from a car dealership.  The whole thing is hilarious, but in the second commercial he does a little dance that will give you an idea of what Weston looks like when he's standing ;) We regularly sing the "Wiggle Wiggle Wump" song.

He's so wiggly that this was our first and last time to use this baby bathtub!

Good thing Charlie is always there to supervise :)

First Family Vacation in Seaside!

Just three days after we got home from our first road trip (we're a little crazy, we know), we were off to Florida which meant Weston's first plane ride.  Since Tim is traveling to Tallahassee each week, if he doesn't fly home for the weekend, we can fly there … so we did!  And thanks to our generous friends from church, we got to stay in their cottage in Seaside for the weekend.  What a perfect place for our first vacation as a trio!

Weston is a great little traveler!  He is such a social little guy that he enjoys seeing so many new people and checking out the new places.  Traveling with an infant was so much easier than I thought it would be because people were so nice!  I was amazed.  The security folks were very helpful and patient and it seems like everyone we came across wanted to be friends with us, I mean Weston ;) and who could blame them!  So many people offered to help me with my bags getting on and off the plane. He slept pretty much the whole time on the plane.  I gave him a pacifier which I had heard is like us chewing gum to help our ears with the altitude change and between that and the hum and vibration of the plane, he was out like a light!  Below are some of our favorite pictures, if you want to see even more, click on any of the pictures to view our Picasa album.

So excited to be on vacation!

The adorable cottage where we stayed. Two screened in porches, two balconies, three stories … it was such a refreshing place! The first morning we woke up, I asked Tim if we were in heaven because of all the sunlight coming through the sheer window coverings in the blue room.  Ahhhh!

First trip to the beach.  Too bad Weston was asleep and it was a bit chilly, but still beautiful!

Picture time with Daddy!

I'm D-O-N-E people!  (He really just got startled and was back to smiling a few seconds later … but what a pitiful little face!)

Back to the beach and awake this time.  It was so bright, we're not sure he really saw the ocean, but he liked having his toes in the sand!

It looks like they are trying to push the stroller into the ocean!

Just a swingin' on the front porch!

Boys will be boys!!

Daddy's hair is yummy!

Hanging out on the third floor balcony!

Such a funny little face! He makes so many :)

What a beautiful place!

Yay for cupcakes!!  They are delicious and fun to photograph!

Many thanks to the Kennedy's for the wonderful place … to Denise for taking us to the airport … to Kim for picking us up from the airport (6 hours later than expected thanks to snow in Austin!) … and Denise & Yobany for taking care of Charlie while we were gone! We have AWESOME friends!

P.S. Another first on his first road trip

So, this lack of sleep is not doing any favors for my memory!  I usually don't completely forget things, but I often don't remember things at the right time (which is another reason you shouldn't wait 2 months to write blog posts!).  Like when I was writing the previous blog post last night.  I wrote that I didn't have any pictures from our time over the weekend … which is true, on our camera.  But I totally forgot that Grandpa is an excellent photographer and captured our time together which included another first for Weston …

On Valentine's day, he got to meet some of his second cousins, Anna & Landon!!  We just love this family!  Tim is an only child, but he has some awesome cousins and we are so glad that Kirk and his wonderful wife Staci live in Texarkana so that we get to see them fairly often.  And their kiddos are just precious!  We are so looking forward to watching these guys grow up together!  Weston was supposed to get to meet more family including my grandparents and other extended family in Hot Springs, but the aforementioned snow didn't allow us to travel there :( We hope to get up there soon!

This was all of our first time to meet Landon who was born this past August.  What a sweet, smiley guy he is!

Here is the whole crew :)

Here I am with my buddy Anna playing in her belated Christmas presents!

I can't believe she will already be 4 in May.  She's getting so big and impressed us all when she asked Granna if she and I had the same eye color.  As you can see from this picture, we most certainly do!  What an observant and smart young lady!

And here are my boys!  Weston loves his daddy!

Sorry for the brain fart.  Wish I could promise it won't happen again, but …

First Road Trip: Part 2

Weston was a champ in the car again and would have slept the whole way from Denton to Texarkana had we not had to stop for gas in New Boston (just 20 min from mom's house)!  We had originally planned to start our road trip a day later than we did and boy are we glad we moved it up.  Snow started falling in Denton the day we left and then started in Texarkana the day after we made it.  So Weston got to experience another (very unexpected) first … SNOW!

Isn't this the cutest little bear hat you've ever seen?  These were the best pics I could take trying to juggle baby and camera at the same time while everyone was at work/school ;)

Yay for the Cozy Cover (thanks Kirk & Staci)!  Who knew a kiddo born in Texas would get so much use out of it.

The snow was fun, but it meant that Tim's flight into Texarkana was cancelled on Friday and he didn't get in until Saturday :(  But we made the most of it and spent lots of time with his parents.  Somehow, I didn't get hardly any pictures of these hang out times.  Sorry Granna & Grandpa! In Texarkana, between Nana & Kendall and Granna & Grandpa, Weston gets LOTS of cuddle time!  

Here he is with Nana … so cozy!

Totally zonked out in Nana's lap!

(And yes, we LOVE green polka dots … can you tell?)

 Weston also met his new best friend on this trip … Geoffery the Giraffe!  Thanks to Granna Kuykendall :o) She loves finding cool new things for Weston.  She assured me that this was one of the most popular toys … and boy was she right!  Its actually called Sophie the Giraffe and while it sounds a little like a dog toy, Weston absolutely LOVES (chewing on) this little guy!  He lives in my purse so he goes with us everywhere!

On Saturday night, my little sister Kendall was going to her first High School Sadie Hawkins dance.  The three of us followed along to the pre-dance photo op to see her friends and take some pics.  I know she is almost done with her freshman year now, but it makes me feel SO OLD her being in high school.  When I was her age, she was 2.  Was that really 13 years ago!??!?! CRAZY!

If only he were big enough, I'm sure Kendall would have asked Weston to be her date ;)

Nana did a little bit of showing off with her sweet grandson!

He LOVES making new friends and is always a hit with the ladies!

He was a trooper, but he isn't quite ready for high school yet.

Here is Kendall and her BFF Avery … LOVE these girls!

Here is Kendall with her date Zach.  They have been friends since we moved to Texarkana.  I totally remember Zach when he was just a little guy.  So fun! I may have totally embarrassed her by making them take cheesy pictures, but they came out cute!

Here's the whole gang.  I love that Kendall has such a great group of friends!

I also love cupcakes!

We had a great time hanging out with the whole family and look forward to our next trip to T-town.  We decided to make it all the way home in one day since Weston did so well in the car. We got a bit of a late start leaving and I was nervous we would be just in time to hit rush-hour traffic in Dallas, but God heard our prayers and we sailed right through!  We made it to our planned stop at this super nice and HUGE gas station in Italy, TX … between Dallas & Hillsboro.  We took a break, I pumped a bottle, Weston ate most of it, I got some Sonic and we were back on the road.  He slept until we were just through Waco, so we pulled over in a grocery store parking lot, I climbed in the back and gave him the rest of his bottle and we were back on the road.  He slept the rest of the way home.  SUCCESS!!!

First Road Trip: Part 1

Weston and I were brave and set out on our first road trip February 9-15 when he was about 2.5 months old.  As I was getting ready for our trip and using google maps to check travel times, I found out that my house is exactly 211 miles from my dad's house in Denton, and his house is exactly 211 miles from my mom's house in Texarkana.  And that is from address to address, not just cities. How is that for equal distances?  Crazy!

Our first leg of the journey took us to Papa & Belle's house in Denton.  It took quite a bit to get both of us (plus Charlie) ready and out of the house (definitely had a diaper blow-out which required a complete outfit change as I thought we were ready to leave), but we made it there by about 4:30.  We didn't stop and Weston slept the whole way (probably thanks to the bottle he ate right before we got in the car)!  What a little road warrior … YAY!  My sister Michelle and nephew Jackson drove in from Granbury (thanks for making the effort on a school night!) to join us for one of Belle's delicious dinners!  We had a great time hanging out for sure.  Weston was getting so much attention that he just didn't have time to take naps ;)  Thankfully, he got another long nap on the way to Texarkana the next day.

Papa is funny! (And Belle made the sweater he is wearing!)

Jackson had to rest some since he had a big day in 2nd grade the next day … so I was the luckiest girl in the room with both of these sweet boys snuggled up in my lap!

After having some of Papa's famous waffles for breakfast and getting to see some fun pictures of their recent travels to Thailand and Japan, we were ready to hit the road again. 

Dub in a Tub

These super fun pics are from when Weston was a little over 2 months old.  Seriously, what is cuter than a baby in a robe?  Thanks to the Kennedy's for the A-DOR-A-BLE gift!

April Fools? Nope. This is really happening.

Dear Blog Readers,

I interrupt our back-dated blogging updates to bring you some breaking news.  April has only been here for 5 days, and yet, we have 3 milestones to report.  Yes, THREE!

First, Weston can now roll from his back to his tummy.  He has been doing this in parts … from back to side and side to tummy … for awhile now, but a few days ago, he mastered it and can do it in one "umph"!  A couple weeks ago he also started pulling his knees in during tummy time and a few times has done it while also fully pushed up on his arms. Our little guy is going to be mobile before we know it! 

Second, he has slept in his crib all-night!  Which does not yet equate to sleeping through the night, but its a huge step!  He did it for the first time on April 1 and I seriously thought it was going to be his April Fools joke, but he did the same thing the next night too.  Yay Weston!  I contribute this milestone 98% to being able to roll onto his tummy! I put him down and he does his "umph move" and rolls immediately onto his tummy. He is also taking longer naps and going down faster in his crib than before. Yay!  Makes for a happier (and more rested) baby and a happier (and more productive) mommy.  The remaining 2% I attribute to our work over the last 6 weeks to establish a sleep routine to make the transition from the family bed (*if you're interested in our experience, see below) to his crib. We always rock in the green chair in his room and do some sort of combination of eating, reading and singing.  Now that he knows what's coming, he is fighting sleep less! 

Last but not least, he has his FIRST TOOTH!!!  I felt it for the first time just an hour ago. His front, bottom, (his) left tooth has just barely broken through the skin.  Hopefully this will give him some relief.  Poor kiddo has been teething for well over a month now and we only realized it about 2 weeks ago.  He's only 4.5 months old and we thought it was too early for teething.  But at our 4 mo appt in mid-March, the doctor said his gums were a little swollen.  A few days later some of the other moms in our playgroup were talking about how their kids had pulled at their ears or head and that they had found that the teething tablets had really helped.  I decided to try them out because at times Weston just attacks his poor little face and does his best impression of a rock-n-roll front man scream (imagine the one from "Who Are You" by the Who) … and man have they made all the difference in the world!  He is much more comfortable and less restless.  We had a rough couple of weeks of frequent screaming fits and restlessness and I couldn't figure out what it was.  It was definitely the teething and giving him the tablets every 6 hours really helped! A MUCH happier camper. And he's a champ at taking the medicine, maybe because he also enjoys the accompanying gum rub. 

Everyone always says that they grow and change so quickly but this is like warp-speed! Each new development is so exciting, but its always also a little bit sad to realize the change.  I'm trying my hardest to soak in each moment with him, I want to remember as much as I can!  I know that many of you, especially you family and friends who live far away, want to get to see him grow and we are so thankful to know that there are so many people who love our little family!  Now that Weston is sleeping more on his own, I hope to get caught up on the last two months and do more timely updates on the blog in the future.  We've got some great pictures to share and hopefully I can get some of our videos up here too!  Sorry for the super-long post without pictures.  If you've made it this far, you deserve a cupcake!

*Weston has been sharing our bed since he was born.  We didn't go into this planning on a family bed, but we have a finicky sleeper and it is what worked best for us … meaning more sleep for everyone!  You'll find lots of different opinions out there about the family bed and I've had a few people really warn that it was a bad idea, but it worked out really well for us.  I believe, as with most other things that come to being a new parent, that each family has to make their own choice for what works best for them and their baby.  For all those soon to be moms, here is our experience with it.  Hopefully it will help!  In our family, Tim is a deep sleeper, so he was able to continue to get a pretty good nights rest (and also at first, when there isn't much difference between night and day, he was able to participate in those night wakings and was a HUGE help to me!)  I am a light sleeper and have been able to nurse and tend to Weston in a timely manner, which meant that there were many nights (after the first month or so) that he didn't even get to the point of crying to tell me what he needed. I learned which moves meant that he was hungry and which meant he needed to burp, etc. It was very convenient to nurse him as we were both able to remain lying down and could continue resting.  I have also been sleeping with a teddy bear ;) for the majority of my life, so it was very natural for me to cradle Weston next to me and hold the covers so that he was safe from suffocation hazards! The bonding part is also probably obvious, but we, all three of us (well 4 if you count Charlie the cat too!), have enjoyed the closeness and cuddling … some of my favorite moments with him so far have been our morning "talks" … I've captured a few on video and am working on being able to share them on the blog.  Priceless moments!  So, in my opinion, the family bed was a good experience for us and if we get to have more kiddos, I would definitely consider it again if it helped everyone in our family to get some good sleep!